*Please note to understand this middle section of my ‘All of Me blog’, its probably best to glance over Part 1 if you haven’t read it.

14th October 2020 – It’s 5.23am, I’ve been awake since 3am.  My soul is demanding I finish this blog!  In July I could only start it. Now it’s time to finish it.  ‘Is your dream bigger than your rejections?  If it is, maybe it’s time to keep going, instead of giving up.’  Found on p182 of Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang, a book I was gifted by the awesome Suzie Oulton, who I’m blessed to have as my mentor in UW.  I probably would have thrown in the towel and given up long ago if it wasn’t for her and Nicola at my side, and the consistent support of other UW partners.  Suzie gave me ‘Rejection Proof’ very perceptively – I’d recommend reading it, especially if you have to encounter rejection a lot with your work. 

Suzie has been an absolute rock in her commitment, passion and focus, whilst compassionate to my struggles and very, very patient! She is steadfast in her belief in me – she sees that I can overcome my obstacles if I keep going. A basic ‘obstacle’ I’m working on is whilst I am left-handed and well-developed in what is considered ‘right-brain’ thinking (intuition, creativity, analysis, emotions – with my English degree, drama and theatre background), I am under-developed in my left-brain thinking /right-hand side connection (logical, methodical, maths, numbers, rational) – and growing my left-brain’s balancing influence is vital for me to make a success of UW.  In the bigger picture, I see UW as the divine masculine coming in to protect MA which is my divine feminine side – we all need a balance of both. Another ‘obstacle’ is my mild dyspraxia has also been playing up much more in that I just struggle to remember new learning (especially if it’s factual info) unless I see it written or can hear it repeatedly –my struggle to learn affects my feelings of self-esteem and those dear old self-limiting beliefs can start to kick in, which in turn dramatically reduces my ability to retain information as I just don’t feel good. I can certainly relate more to children who struggle to learn now!! Through all the highs and lows, the nitty gritty of learning, my at times bruised self-confidence, Suzie has been consistently grounded, kind and present – it goes without saying, I’m incredibly grateful to her. There has to be a bigger plan here as Suzie, myself and Nicola coming together for the first time at the WIRE (Women in Rural Enterprise) conference in 2018 was very, very serendipitous and somewhat a miracle.

Turning 40, my journey appears to be truly accepting/ knowing myself – who I really was born to be – and being that authentic self out in the world.  Nicola and I have decided our team motto for ‘Team Unicorn’ is ‘Be Yourself’.  I saw it on a pebble in July.  So simple, so profound.  This blog stems from that stone. ‘All of Me’.  I’m not conventional.  I’ve tried. Oh believe me I’ve tried. ‘What if your difference is your gift to the world?’ rings with truth.

So it’s accepting that and just getting on with it, doing my best to bring my authentic light to a troubled world. ‘I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not’ Kurt Cobain.  Woah a bit too strong for me (“You mean you really don’t like cheese and onion crisps too?!”) but powerful… I’d sort of reframe it as Rachel Campbell’s way of putting it it in ‘Light is the New Black’:  ‘I am not for them and they are not for me’.   In turn, I do my very best to be non-judgmental and accepting of others as I believe we are all doing our best with the knowledge and awareness we have, and we all deserve warmth and compassion.  Indeed, we each live in our own unique dream world, crafted by so many influences – and actually our inner soul world is what’s most important to stay connected to to steer us forward. Don Miguel Ruez wrote about this in his poetic way:

I’m on a journey, at the moment I can’t say I’m immune to the opinions and actions of others, nor that I ever will be, but I’m further along the line of shedding illusion than I used to be.  I also never want to not listen to wisdom and knowledge from others – ‘no man is an island’ is certainly true of me; it will take many people with all sorts of amazing talents to pull off the Moonstruck Astronaut outdoor show of my dreams – I love cooperation and collaboration, what we’re talking about here is the different sense when someone has a jarring opinion of you and what you do, it’s usually their stuff not your’s.  Wayne Dyer often spoke about the fact that Abraham Maslow always taught that it was necessary for the self-actualized individual to be “independent of the good opinion of others.” Becoming self-actualized is the tip of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs triangle – the ultimate goal.  Yes there’s a synergy there with my work triangle!  I wish to help build a world based in kindness where we are not quick to judge others and we do our utmost to allow others to be themselves and live life their way. 

I’d like to share the 3 BIG reasons why I love UW:

1. Equality – ANYONE no matter their background, age, religion, colour, sexual orientation, ANYTHING can access the UW opportunity.  It brings together all backgrounds, all professions, all ages – young and old.  We are surrounded by systems of inequality, burdened by historical bias.  I don’t agree with inequality.  It is time for new systems of unbiased access for all to actually emerge.  There’s lots of talk about this but I don’t think many businesses manage it.  UW is rare.  I see in UW hope for the future that there CAN be an equal playing field.

2.  Trust –  UW is run on trust, on word of mouth, on people power, on recommendation.  It’s success is It’s normal people helping other normal people and in turn, enabling everyone to bring more money into their homes through a sustainable long-term business model:

‘When I started this journey a little over 20 years ago, I was hoping to build something worthwhile that had a positive impact on as many people as possible.  To create an ethical business which treated all stakeholders fairly – customers, Partners, staff and investors.  Our commitment to these core values is at the heart of everything we have achieved together so far.’ (Charles Wigoder – founder and Chief Executive of UW)

The fact UW has managed to avoid being part of mainstream sexy advertising, and actually THRIVE outside of it, is extraordinary and a beautiful testimony that grassroots trust between people is still alive and kicking in this day and age of warped consumerism.

3. Money – To put it bluntly, I wouldn’t need to be doing UW if I could earn an excellent, regular wage as a creative artist.  There is so much baggage here that I get lost so it’s best to just let go of what I am not in control of which is the craziness of money biases in current society and focus on the opportunities in life I have been given. Coming across UW is one of them. As a side point, I would be SO elated to help many other creatives thrive through introducing them to the UW bee hive – that’s part of my motivation to succeed. In turn, I’m very much looking forward to supporting whomever wants to join me in being a UW buzzy bee and spread the love. Part of the love is its beautiful accessibility to all. UW is also clever in how it rewards you for your efforts to share.  It is also straight forward in how wealth is shared – if you are prepared to face fears and work on dismantling self-sabotaging beliefs (well, in my case… I hope others find it a doddle, and I’ll certainly pass on what not to do!!), be open to the new, learn and improve your skills, take action consistently, you get paid well.  To put it simply it’s about a lot of people doing a little work part-time consistently over many years supporting each other.  When you make a success of UW the money becomes residual income – which I’d never heard of before.  The concept of residual income just makes sense to me and it would hugely support me in being able to co-create Moonstruck Astronaut projects every summer. 

Those who have plenty of money can do more good in the world.  I am a generous person who sincerely wants to be an agent of love, hope and good on the planet.  I know as my income grows, I will be joyously empowered to do more good in the world.  I hope in sharing this blog I take some sort of step forward out of the limiting beliefs of the past and into my divine right to abundance, knowing I will pass it on.  I want a world where money can be given and received abundantly and freely, with trust and harmony and love.  I want a world where good people have lots of money so they can do as much good as possible while they are alive.  In my opinion, UW is already helping to birth that world.

So that’s a bit (or rather – a lot!) about why UW is now part of the Moonstruck Astronaut dream. The dream of one day achieving uniting many people of all ages, backgrounds to co-create outdoor theatre on a field near Newport is a vision that won’t leave me.  I’m still working towards it but with a much wider view of how to get there than I had when I jumped ship from my drama teaching career into icy waters back in August 2017.  Formed through facing the reality that Moonstruck Astronaut CIC can’t pay me much, certainly not regularly, and I don’t want to pressure the theatre company in that way also.   I have a mountain to climb (believe me it’s better than swimming in an endless ocean!) and I’ll be beavering away in these three part-time businesses for years.

Please continue to Part 3, the final part of this blog! Thanks so much for reading this far.